I love to love, but I am not good at it. My bed has seen many loves; my pillow has heard talks and tears from quiet nights with either John, Jimmy, Justin or Jane—all are blue-eyed with curly hair. The tears on the pillow are always mine. Letting go of one love conjures memories of our dinner dates, hiking days and movie nights. The bed clutters with endings and new beginnings, and each goodbye welcomes new lovers that resemble the former—blue-eyed and curly haired—my doppelgängers.
Indeed, I love to love—when I find one lover in another.
“Emergency! Run while you can!” should be the warning tattooed on his hard, muscled body. No, not for us to run but as reverse psychology so we stay, looking beyond his flaws. We are those women who intentionally seek men of races different from our own, and we color-contrast the streets of Boston, overshadowing the distorted faces of its segregated past with a powerful new mix of races. This “Emergency” has an urgency that makes us run towards a future that can appreciate the men who color our lives, as we hold hands and kiss openly in streets—proudly interracial.
Caroline Kautsire is originally from Malawi, Africa, and she graduated from Brown University with an M.A. in English Literature and Language. She is an English instructor in Boston and is currently pursuing her M.F.A. in Creative Writing at Emerson College.